Tuesday, February 05, 2008

A Sign of the Times

I haven't had a good week. I have had financial situations come up, I am under a lot of pressure at work, I even had to dip into our savings account, but nothing, absolutely nothing tops what I got in the mail today. I had to stop in the middle of walking back to the house to make sure I was reading the little card correctly.

"What?! I don't understand?" (Maybe I read it wrong, go back to the top Malia.)

Now I am reading out loud to make sure the words are forming correctly and flowing through the brain that deciphers things...."We regret to inform you the Martha Stewart Living has ceased publication with the September/October issue...."

"What?!!! No more Martha Stewart Living?! This can't be! How can she do that?! This is what she has worked for her entire life! WHAT IS SHE THINKING?!!!! (My heart begins to beat faster and I am finding it hard to breathe, walk the dogs and make sense of Martha's decision WITHOUT CONSULTING ME FIRST!)

"I know, I will call her. That is what I will do. I will call her and I will tell her that she cannot, not send me Martha Stewart Living, not publish Martha Stewart Living, not give me ideas of which I will never try because I cannot find the ingredients or spend $100 on eyelets that are just magnificent!"

I stumbled into the house. Threw the dogs leashes....somewhere...and headed towards the computer where I would feverishly search for a phone number to Martha Stewarts headquarters.


"tap.tap....tap....tap. Click, click....click, click."


"tap.tap....tap....tap. Click, click....click, click."

"Mom. Can I have some lunch now?"

"tap.tap....tap....tap. Click, click....click, click."

"Mooooommm!--Not now Emma! I have to look into somethi...ah ha...here is a number!"

(Yes, okay, press 1, uh huh, okay, press 3...my credit card no.?! Crap! No! I need Martha, I need to talk with someone! I am pretty sure this is one of the signs in Revelations and I must stop it! Oh, "hello?!")

"Yes, Hi! Hi! Yes, hello, listen I..I got this horrible card in the mail and it said that Martha Stewart Living is no longer going to be published and I want to know.....WHY!!! Why! Why are y'all doing this?"

"Oh m'am, I am sorry, that was a misprint. That is for the Martha Stewart Newsletter."

"Oh Thank GOD!!!!!" Click.


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