Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Georgia Snow

It snowed in Georgia. Twice. I tried to tell you about it. Blogger refused to cooperate. I got DSL. DSL kicks Bloggers ass. I give you...snow. In Georgia.

What is this falling from the sky?! Snow? What is snow?

Can we eat it? (Polluting my children...I know, bad mom, bad!) Notice that every one is wearing short sleeves and no coats. We do NOT believe the weatherman here until we actually see the white stuff. This time...he was right. That is the real reason every one runs to the store when they see it fall.

Every one say "BRRRRRR!!!!!"

A family picture. Wait...where are the children?

Poor babies...this is the best snowman they could get out of the half inch of snow we got.


Friday, January 25, 2008

The Crazy Lady With Five Dogs

I knew the day that Bailey passed away, that I wanted to have another lap dog in my life. I had tried looking on the Internet, but once I started seeing those little Yorkie faces, I had to stop because it brought back memories of Bailey and I would just cry. I had decided it was too soon. Although no puppy could take the place of Bailey in my heart, my lap was just completely lonely. I looked at all the different breeds, making sure that is definitely what breed I wanted to stay with.

Two days after Bailey had died, I was at work and this lady, who we had all deemed "crazy", came through and shouted loudly at me, "Do you know anyone who wants a yorkie?!"


"Yeah, I have so many problems, I have just got to get rid of my yorkies, I have five and I just can't keep up with them anymore."

I told her that I was looking and that Bailey had just died. She said that she was only selling the little girl. She had already had all her shots, she was pee pad trained, but she had had surgery to remove a hernia. I took her number, not sure that I wanted a dog, let alone a girl, that had already had problems.

Once I got home from work, I whined to Wade for him to go look at this dog with me. I didn't expect to get one, but I wanted the experience of shopping for a dog because I had never done it before. I had visited a Yorkie site with a forum the day before and they had given me some tips on how to shop. Yes. They actually have forums.

He very relunctantly agreed to go with me. We pulled into the driveway and I told him that I would be right out.

Well, she introduced me to all her dogs, Precious, Max, Paris, Prissy and Star. Star is the one she was selling. I was sure she was a cute dog...if I could see her. Star was hiding. Under the chairs inside, under the bushes outside. All of the other dogs were very friendly, except for Paris, who was terribly cute, under her momma's arm and not for sale. I told her it was very nice to meet her and her dogs and Wade and I would discuss it and call her if we were interested.

Once I got back outside, Wade peeked over the fence to see what he thought too. We then went on our merry way. We discussed it in the car and had decided that we didn't want a dog that had problems and we should look around more and not pick the first dog we saw. He also mentioned that he liked Max the best.

The next day, I got a phone call. It was the crazy lady with her five dogs. She said that she thought that she had had a heart attack last night and then she woke up in the middle of the night and Max and Precious were "going at it" and Precious had gotten pregnant. She couldn't handle anymore dogs and she was going to have to get rid of Max too. She knew that I wasn't too fond of star because she was not very friendly and if I wanted Max, she would be willing to sell him.

I turned around and didn't call Wade, I called Erin, my sister. "What do you think I should do?" "I would get her. She is probably just shy because she has all those dogs around and because her owner is crazy." I asked her to please go with me to look at the dogs because she had experience at this and I was green!

Then I asked Wade what he thought. "Erin thinks it is a good idea and that the dog should be fine. She also said it was a really good price."

"That is what Erin says about everything when it comes to spending money. Everything is a "good price" to her." He still thought we should look around, but if I wanted it, then do what I wanted. Hasn't he learned yet that those are the wrong combination of words to tell me? Do what you want?!

So, on a snowy Wednesday in Georgia, Erin and I went to visit the crazy lady with five dogs, in her house filled with rugs and...stuff... and spent time with the dogs. The snow was falling in huge flakes and it was already sticking. Star was still hiding, but Max was sweet and loving. Erin and I spoke in a language that only we could understand. We blinked our eyes, wiggled our noses, shrugged shoulders and pulled on ears. She thought the dogs looked good and healthy and that we should rescue them from this lady. (She honestly was a very nice lady, just a little eccentric and lonely, really, I think). Erin's nose and blinks said, "Max is not even neutered, so we could breed him and make a profit. You should get the dogs."

"Dogs? With an S? I am sorry, I thought shrug, blink, blink, wiggle the nose, fling the hair meant Max. Just Max."

"Nope. Wiggle the nose, fling the hair, touch my shoe means just Max. You should get both. A boy and a girl. Besides they are cute. I am sure that Star will warm up to you once she gets out of all this craziness."

Max and Star? Max and Star? Can I handle two puppies at once? Max and Star? Money. He can make me money. Wade liked him. That would make Wade happy. I like Star, I do. That would be my little girl dog. I have never had one of those before. Max and Star? I could go to PetSmart and ge, "I am probably going to die and then you won't be able to get any papers on them, so I will just go ahead and give you the papers and you can take both of them."


"I am probably going to die, so I have to get rid of all of them! I had a heart attack last night and I need quadruple bypass surgery. You know, they are like teenagers, if they want to have sex they are going to. I did everything, I even tied his penis up, but he didn't care, he still got to her last night and now she's pregnant!"

"I will take them. I will take Max and Star."

Wink, wink, wiggle the nose, touch my ear...(Erin, let's get the dogs and get out of here.)

We head outside with two dogs in tow, complete with a set of clothes for each, papers and tags. The crazy lady with fi...no, three dogs, follows us out. We are all shivering because of the snow, even the dogs, and the crazy lady with the three dogs continues to tell me how to take care of dogs. She tries to go back inside the house and for us to follow her, but her front door is now locked...with us on the porch...all of us...shivering...locked out of her house...in the snow.

"She locked me out of my house." She is pointing to Erin.

(Are you kidding me? This lady is nutso. Why would Erin lock her out of her house. Why would Erin have touched the door?)

"That's okay, I can get in." She whips a credit card out from somewhere and tries to get back in. "I can't believe she locked me out of my house."

We got back in and ended up staying another 15 minutes with the Crazy Lady with three dogs, where she showed me everything she has ever fed her dogs, everything.

We finally head home, where it is somewhat quiet, somewhat peaceful. Me, Max and Star. My new best friends.

Meet Max Hemi Sims. He is a two-year-old blue and gold Yorkshire Terrier. He is daddy to Star.

Meet Star. She is a tri-color Yorkshire Terrier. Max's little girl.


Sunday, January 20, 2008

Bun in the Oven?!

Me: Emma, my stomach hurts.

Emma: That's because your going to have a baby.

Wade--who overheard from the kitchen(choking): Cough! Watch your mouth girl!


The Love Tub!

Beware of The Sims 2.

I got it for Christmas.

It is rated T for teens.

I have played it once.

Dylan loves it.

He has cheat codes.

He has several families.

He has a job. He is a vandal and gets paid $186 per day.

Today, Jackson came and told me that they bought a love tub. He noticed I looked perplexed. "It's a tub that is shaped like a heart." One of my eyebrows raises. "I asked my girlfriend to get in the love tub with me, but she is not my girlfriend, now she is just my best friend, but she got in and you know what? She was naked? Isn't that weird? She must be dumb. She must've been like, 'I'm dumb, let me take my clothes off and get in the love tub.'


"Mom, we already did."

Such good boys.

(Before you get all judgemental on me...number 1, I didn't know a "love tub" existed. Their dad helped them get the cheat codes...I was at work, so pick on him. Second, the nakedness, it is blurred out.:))


Saturday, January 19, 2008

Conversations You Never Thought You Would Be Having With Your Children...1

While watching the snow fall through the window and General Hospital at the same time, I found that there was suddenly a block of my view...Jackson.

Jackson(Making my mind wander from the saga of Luke's third heart attack and whether he will or will not decide to have that lifesaving surgery): Mom, this one time...at school...the sink was broken...and there was a cleaning lady...and I had to wash my hands in the toilet...is that okay?(Am I going to die because of the germs?)

Me(My mind completely ripped away from the thoughts of Maxie being strangled and who done it): What?! (Did he just say he washed his hands in a toilet?!)

Jackson: At school...I had to wash my hands in the toilet...is that okay? (Please...just tell me I am not going to die.)


Jackson (Crap! She looks like I might die!): I had to go to the bathroom and the sink was broken, so there was a cleaning lady in the bathroom and she asked me if I had washed my hands, so I washed them in the toilet. (So, what does this mean...exactly?)

Me: When?!!! Did!!!! This!!! Happen??!!

Jackson: I don't know, like, in kindergarten.

Me(Perplexed, confused...um...disgusted): Did you think of maybe telling the cleaning lady that the sink was broken?

Jackson(Maybe that would have worked): {Shakes his head no and shrugs his shoulders}

Me(What blog material!): Okay, I don't think you're going to die, but next time...tell the cleaning lady that the sink is broken...don't wash your hands in the toilet!!!!


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

We Miss You Bailey!

My Bailey passed away on Friday, January 11, 2008. He was to be six years old this year. We did everything we possibly could to try and save the little guy. He was very brave and fought, I think for me more than for himself. He was so loyal and loving, always at my side or in my lap. I will miss you Bailey, my best friend.


Thursday, January 10, 2008

2007 Went Out in a Puff of Smoke...Literally

On December 31, 2007, I was awoken by the sound of vomiting in my bed. This is not an uncommon sound in our household, I mean, we have three children, three cats and two dogs, someone is ALWAYS vomiting. We had also been through a serious stomach virus the week before. I sleepily jumped out of bed in order to dodge the projectile vomit and instructed Jackson to get up and go to the bathroom. Time to wash the sheets again I guess.

After I got him settled in, I headed to the phone to call the boss, I would not be making it to work that day. My boss was none too happy, I mean it is New Year's Eve and I work in retail. Actually, I had not even realized the date at that time.

Later that day, I had noticed a smell in the house, but thought it was the heat. You know how the furnace gives off that smell sometimes. Even later, I noticed the smell again and went and investigated, but found nothing. I had not lit any candles, so I again chalked it up to being the furnace. Well, at about 1:30 I looked up from my computer and noticed that the house looked a little bit hazy. I was thinking, "Is that just the sun shining in from the window? Are my eyes that tired that the house is hazy looking?" I headed into the living room and told Dylan that something definitely smelled and we had to figure out what it was. It was stronger than earlier that day. I went to my bedroom and opened the door and it was filled with smoke! The outlet on the wall had been smoldering all day and that is what the smell was. Now the wall above the outlet was black and the wall was hot! I tried not to panick, I mean, all three children were looking at me as if to say, "Okay, mom, what is the next move?!" I picked up the phone and called the hubby, asking him what I should do and if I should call the fire department, all the while, I am thinking, "I don't want the fire deparmtent to see my house this messy! I ran downstairs and turned off all the power to the house, no, not just to the bedroom, the whole house! Panick? Me?! No!

I could see smoke up in the attic and was afraid there was fire inside the wall and that it was climbing. I climbed up into the attic, hurting myself, because, really, how long has it been since you hoisted your own weight up into an attic loft with a door the size of a cabinet door?

Turns out we caught it in time before it could do any real damage, but if I had gone to work that day, there would have been no house to come home to. We would have lost everything, except our lives, which are precious of course.

I thank God for Jackson's vomit, for without it, we wouldn't have a porcelain throne to pray to.