Sunday, November 22, 2009

Dream a dreamer. I dream of the nice camera that I will one day hold in my hot little hands. I dream of the beautiful pictures I will take. I dream that my phone will ring off the hook with people only wanting me to take their priceless photographs......but, for now, it is only a dream, which is exactly what I realized one day while driving Emma home from dance class.

I was dreaming of Savannah, naturally,... and Emma in her wedding dress standing below the oaks of Wormsloe Plantation, her hourglass frame perfectly curved, mimicking the spanish moss and it would be my keen eye that would capture the most fabulous wedding pictures EVER!!! Then I remembered, I will be close to dead before I can afford the kind of camera I want. Emma will at that point have four children, one of which will have children of their own, Emma's figure will be shot to hell and her beautiful golden hair will be a wirey thank God, I found Vanessa, or so I thought.

Can you picture it?

"Emma, when you get married, me and you are going to go to Savannah and I am going to bring Vanessa and we are going to shoot you 'below the oaks of Wormsloe Plantation' because you are going to be the most beautiful bride and I just can't wait!!! Okay!"

"Ummmm, Okay...but, I already told you, .... I'm not getting married."

"What!!! You have to!!! I have to have more little Emma's around and the only way that is going to happen is if you have them!!!!"

"Ummmm, okay, but I am not having any babies either."

"Ugh!! You know what, fine!!! But you will go to Savannah! And you will wear a white dress 'below the oaks of Worsloe Plantation' and you will let Vanessa shoot you!!! Because you will be the most beautiful giRL IN WHITE THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I WANT PICTURES OF IT!!! OKAY!!!!"

"Ummmm, ..... okay."

See, Vanessa is really good at this and she HAS already agreed to it.



Emma comes up and hugs me, as she always does when I am sad.

"Moooom" (It's the same way she says it when she catches me crying while watching General Hospital, you know, like I'm a dork or something.)

"Mommmm, stop"

"Well, I'm just sad. Why can't you just stay a baby? Why? Can't you just stay a baby?" (sniff, sniff)

"Noooo!!! I'm not magic!" (Duh!) "Maybe you can die and I can die...(Emma!!! Don't say things like that!)..."Well, Jesus can just bring us back to life and you and me both can be babies again. Would that be okay and not make you sad?"

" know what, let's go to Target and buy you some bigger clothes. You're gonna have a lot of growing to do."

Saturday, November 21, 2009

November 19, 2003 I saw Red.

Dear Lord, Thank you for this day, thank you for the food that you have given us, may it be a nourishment to our bodies. Bless the hands that prepared it. Please keep our family, friends and us safe throughout the nights and days to come. I pray that you will keep Memaw well. Please forgive us our sins. Amen.

This was my usual nightly prayer, but one night, when thinking of the bulge in my belly, probably because she was kicking me, I added......Lord, please let this baby be a girl....a healthy baby girl...we just want her to be healthy....Amen....and please God, .....don't let her have RED hair. Amen.......Okay, I just want her to be healthy, but if she HAS to have RED hair, Lord, then please let her have beautiful blue eyes, like Pepaw. Amen......but, God, PLEASE don't let her have red hair. Amen.

Fast forward a few months later.......

"Okay, mom, here she more have a beautiful baby girl and she has........blonde hair!!! (blonde? Cool! Weird, but cool), wait (?)......actually, it's red!"

"Red?!!! Are you sure?" (I mean, there's gook and stuff, I'm sure she just needs a bath!)

"Yep, it's definitely red, strange, huh?...congratulations!"

Then, that little red-headed girl was laid on my chest.....she looked up at me with the bluest-eyes and hair the color of golden silk. My precious, red-headed, blue-eyed baby girl. Healthy and blue-eyed...... because.......she had red hair. Just the way I had ordered her. That God, he's a funny guy.