Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cause Daddy Said So...

Tonight, I saw for the first time, the love of a father to protect his daughter....

Jackson and Emma are now the proud owners of some razor scooters. They have been watching some kids ride them at the ballpark and all they had to do was think in their little brains, how much they would like to have one, and Peepaw will make their wish, his command.

So, tonight, while Dylan was playing an awesome game of baseball, one that warranted ice cream afterwards, Jackson and Emma occupied themselves with some scooters.

Wade had to call it an early night because he had to be at work soon, so he headed off towards the car. He didn't get very far before I heard a familiar little girl's voice say, "Daaaaaddddyyyyy, that boy took my scooter." I turned to see what was going on and mine and Wade's eyes met. His eyes said to me, "Damn it! I am going to have to kill a little boy right here in front of everyone! You gonna bail me out, woman?"

Momma's eyes: Go get 'em daddy!...

Daaaadddddyyyy: Well, that just ain't gonna work!

Emma: But, he won't give it back to me!

Meanwhile, Wade is walking toward the boy who is on the back of my princesses steed. Now, I don't know if all of you have seen my husband, but....he looks mean when he's not smiling. If I was the little boy...I would've been scared.

Daaadddddyyyy: He really doesn't have a choice!

As Wade got about 10 steps from the boy, the kid dropped the scooter and headed in the other direction.

The girl....she hopped back on and rode into the sunset. All thanks to her noble knight, who saved her!


Do you know that that little boy took my princesses steed again!!!! This time the Queen had to get off of her throne!!! UGH!!!...to go knock the evil jester of off the steed and tell him he had better not take it again....or else.....off with his head!

All was once again, well, in Fairytale Land...and that little boy, he came up the last time and asked if he could ride the steed. I thought, oh, how nice, he learned a lesson....."No!"

Maybe next time, he will try asking FIRST!

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Michael Jackson, poor guy.

Jackson: Mom, (because remember, every sentence...)...how did Michael Jackson die?

Me: Well, he had a doctor that gave him....

Emma:.......................................because he had a disease that made him turn white and made him look like a girl. Mmmm hmmm.

Me: Ok...that about explains it.

Jackson: Really?!

Me: Well....


Thursday, August 06, 2009

Just for Fun...

My friend Marion, from Savannah, Georgia, home...of the girl scouts.

Malia's Hoooouuuuusssseeeee

Have you ever watched Run's House on MTV? Yeah, me neither, well....actually, I have watched a few episode's, but couldn't stand to watch anymore. Point is, at the end of each of his shows, the scene changes to Run in the bathtub with bubbles and candles and his iphone or Blackberry or whatever and he is typing some kind of inspirational message, because he is actually a reverend ya know, about his family's trials and tribulations for the week. So, tonight, I am Run, except I am not in a bathtub...well, because bathtubs and shower walls give me the creeps, so I try very hard not to touch them, no, I think I will be in a big bed, all alone, with about 10 feather pillows in my white satin robe, texting this inspirational message on my white phone of some sort (I know nothing about phone brands).

Today, algebra brought me to tears. For. Real. There was me. Sitting in class, sniffling. Thinking, "oh. my. God! This sucks! I hate this! This is stupid! Math is nothing but some crap that someone made up! I mean all these rules! Someone had to make it up! Someone had to decide that if you square a square root, then the square can be unsquarerooted! Who made this crap up!? Who has done this to me!!!!!!!!!"

Then the teacher, who calls herself, the best teacher ever, says, "I did something bad." "Do you want to know what it is?"

"Um, no, not really. You have ruined my life because you love algebra, you evil bi..."

"I made your mid-term multiple choice. That way if you pick C, and the answer was A. You got it wrong. Period."

"Sweet Jesus, thank you!!!!! You just saved me life! She really is the best teacher ever!"

So you see, just in case you doubted..... there is a God. He has nothing in common with imaginary numbers, though he is as complex as a quadratic equation. He can even show up in the middle of algebra class when you are fixing to make yourself look like a blubbering idiot and give you multiple choices.

Multiple choice and Jesus dried my tears.