Thursday, August 06, 2009

Malia's Hoooouuuuusssseeeee

Have you ever watched Run's House on MTV? Yeah, me neither, well....actually, I have watched a few episode's, but couldn't stand to watch anymore. Point is, at the end of each of his shows, the scene changes to Run in the bathtub with bubbles and candles and his iphone or Blackberry or whatever and he is typing some kind of inspirational message, because he is actually a reverend ya know, about his family's trials and tribulations for the week. So, tonight, I am Run, except I am not in a bathtub...well, because bathtubs and shower walls give me the creeps, so I try very hard not to touch them, no, I think I will be in a big bed, all alone, with about 10 feather pillows in my white satin robe, texting this inspirational message on my white phone of some sort (I know nothing about phone brands).

Today, algebra brought me to tears. For. Real. There was me. Sitting in class, sniffling. Thinking, "oh. my. God! This sucks! I hate this! This is stupid! Math is nothing but some crap that someone made up! I mean all these rules! Someone had to make it up! Someone had to decide that if you square a square root, then the square can be unsquarerooted! Who made this crap up!? Who has done this to me!!!!!!!!!"

Then the teacher, who calls herself, the best teacher ever, says, "I did something bad." "Do you want to know what it is?"

"Um, no, not really. You have ruined my life because you love algebra, you evil bi..."

"I made your mid-term multiple choice. That way if you pick C, and the answer was A. You got it wrong. Period."

"Sweet Jesus, thank you!!!!! You just saved me life! She really is the best teacher ever!"

So you see, just in case you doubted..... there is a God. He has nothing in common with imaginary numbers, though he is as complex as a quadratic equation. He can even show up in the middle of algebra class when you are fixing to make yourself look like a blubbering idiot and give you multiple choices.

Multiple choice and Jesus dried my tears.