Friday, October 31, 2008

I'm sorry, forgive me, but....

I just can't help it!!!! I mean, look at them!!! And...they can sing....and...they can move....I mean...c'mon!

Mom, this one is just for you! for me...

One for you Jessica....

And....another one for me

Here's one for you Erin....

Now, we can't forget me...

And one more for you mom

Now, one, everyone can enjoy!

You're welcome!


Round the the Waffle House

Last night Donnie was letting the crowd know that they would be at the Waffle House later that night. He and Joey both thanked the south for having Waffle Houses and continued to promise that they would be there. We just had to figure out which one.

Would you please just take a look at who I found frying bacon with a Waffle House apron on?!!!

Donnie Wahlberg, you may fry my bacon any 'ol time you please.


Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm...

Love the apron! Strange how he still looks good in one.

I just CANNOT wait to see them again!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Round the Block

I had the "highlight of my year" last night with none other than New Kids on the Block!!!

We bought our tickets in June and couldn't believe how far away the concert was and how long we were going to have to wait.....forever!!!

All of a sudden, here it was...

Melissa loving Donnie.

Me and Jessica loving Jordan. I mean, look at him.

And Erin loving Joey.

Everyone has their favorites and our favorites DID NOT disappoint last night.

Jessica cried, Melissa and Erin danced and I found myself feeling a mix of emotions. Sad that this could be the last time we ever see them again (it kind of all depends on you), elated that I am seeing them again, nostalgic for old times when I worshiped them...okay, I am still a major fan, and high because they put on a great show. They worked it out! Big time. Did I mention that they are all still very hot...if not hotter!

I cannot wait to see them again! I am on an NKOTB high right now.

Thanks guys!

Monday, October 27, 2008


God is.....

...moving hills

...working on moving mountains

...clearing vision

...revealing truths

...opening minds

...opening hearts

...very busy

...answering prayers


Sunday, October 26, 2008

No One Mourns the Wicked!

That above was my face all night long, well, minus, the "holy crap it is freezing, hurry up and take the picture" look on my face. The smile. That is what I was talking about.

I had tried to get through the book, Wicked, but had a hard time and eventually, put it down after chapter 2. It is not an easy read. Some of it even a little...well...raunchy.

My buddy Devin had burned the soundtrack for me a year ago and I liked it. Especially, track number 7, Popular. The rest didn't make sense. She absolutely eats, breathes and sleeps Wicked. I didn't get it. Alfalfa is in Wicked?

I have wanted to see the play since last year, but alas, tickets were going for near $100. Devin kept telling me it was worth it, but I passed. I was green with envy. I vowed I would go this year.

Again, ticket sales came and went and I passed again....ugh! Pesky bills!

I kept kicking myself thinking I should have gotten the tickets any way. Sometimes you just have to do things or you will never do it, but, it was too late. Then, on Thursday, I got the call.

Devin: Why would I be calling you instead of texting you?

Me: I don't know, maybe because I AM GOING TO WICKED!!!!!!!!!

Devin: That's right....

Someone had been unable to attend with her group...and she chose me!


One problem. How to get to Atlanta. I had no one to ride with. I was going to have to make the trek alone. Thank God for the person who invented the GPS. That thing is amazingly wonderful.

The show didn't start until 8 and I didn't want to get there and have to walk in Atlanta by myself in the dark! Gasp! That would be just...wicked! So I arrived early, 6:42 p.m. It's okay, I brought a friend along just for this exact situation, Edward Cullen. Whatev. He has left and now I hate the book, so I put him down, "told him to act as though I never existed." Stupid vampires. So unpredictable.

It was time. I crossed the street to The Fabulous Fox Theatre and entered into the rushing crowd.

The singing began. No One Mourns the Wicked. Then Galinda appeared. That's Guh-linda. I thought about how beautiful Emma would have thought her dress was. Then the lone green character. The stage was amazing. The singing was beautiful. Dare I say I preferred Carmen Cusack's singing over Idina Menzel? Sorry Devin, but I do.

Along with the wonderful songs that now made sense to me, the show was funny. Katie Rose Clark was hilarious.... toss, toss. She even lost her shoe during the song Popular, but never missed a beat. She just worked it in.

Then the climax. Elfaba rose to great heights, literally, with Defying Gravity. It was amazing. Words escaped me. Devin cried...again. I was so grateful at that moment that I got to experience it and thought how the children would love it.

The trip to Atlanta alone was worth the three hour show, yes, three full hours. I won't miss this opportunity again.

Loved it, loved it, loved it.

Makes you look at The Wizard of Oz in a completely different light.

I plan to revisit the books again and see if it will make more sense now. First, I am going to give Edward one more chance. Pesky vampire.


Defying Gravity

And that is what I was doing during this high note from my trip to see Wicked. Amazing I tell you!

Monday, October 20, 2008


Emma is taking ballet classes and I try to challenge her by trying....yes...trying to do the steps myself.....okay, whatever, I am challening myself!

I have never taken a ballet class and have learned that is hard. It looks beautiful and graceful and flowing and like it takes nothing to do it, but I am here to tell you, there are black eyes and floods in ballet....well, when I do it there are.

I was torturing the children right after prayers for the night by trying to show them that I could do these teeny ballet jumps called.........teeny ballet jumps...I don't know the techinical term, something french, but anyways....I did them, or attempted, just as she does them here..........

Jackson immediately begins his gut laugh, holding his chest with both hands and barely can get the words out....."Mom, when you do those...ha ha ha ha ha.....your things right here...haaa haaaa haaaaa haaaa haaaa....they jump up and down.....haaaaaaa...haaaaaaaaa....haha....haaaaaa.haaaaaaaaa.....

Lord, the child would have died right then and there if he also would have known that I peed a little too....



Actually this was added 23 days ago to my to-do list and I just happened to get to it.

I had to clean out the bookbags. Amazing how it shows the personality of each child.

Dylan's contained:

4 chapter books that he is currently reading

Jackson's contained:

A note that he was exchanging with a girl. She said, "Blah, blah, blah." He said, "I am not your friend."

Emma's contained:

A pink stuffed kitty cat that wore bling, a tiara, a diamond ring and makeup.


21 Names of God

I found this to be ...... awesome.



I learned something new tonight. Something I may have heard many times, but today, I got it.

He always loves.

There is never an "I'm not feeling you today."

"Nah, you didn't return my call, so forget you."

"You hurt my feelings. I can no longer love you."

No matter how much I screw up. No matter how many times I get it wrong.....or get it right. When I am brilliant....when I am an idiot. When I am selfish....when I am giving. When I am mean....when I am nice. When I am hurt...when I am broken..........when I am whole.

God always

There is never a time when he doesn't. Never.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

Who's the Boss

I have a heart for animals. What? You didn't know? Oh, when I get to Heaven, I can just picture it. I will be walking up that hill towards that light and there will be little shadows of gerbils, dogs, cats and birds of many generations running to meet me. They will tackle me and I will fall back and they will lick my face and wag their tails. Probably 100's of them before it is all said and done. There will be Tigger, Booboo, Bailey, Chester, Noname, Pixie and Dixie, Scooby, Tambo, oh, and Duke, Socks, Peeper, Snowball, I can't foget Charlie, Kujo, Milo, Freebee, Storm and Lightning, Hopper, Thunderdor, Mojo, my goodness there are a lot of them.

Well, I have found another....he calls out to me. A Cocker. I have always wanted a cocker. Ever since my aunt and uncle had two. I can't remember their names, though I believe one was named Shiloh. I can remember their smell though. I just loved those dogs. They were so soft.

I was discussing with Dylan about this dog because what I do better now than before, is not make a rash decision when it comes to the furry kind, I plan to discuss first and then we all make a decision together.

Me: Dylan LOOK at this DOG! Isn't he so cute!!! He says, "take me, I need you!"

Dylan: Ooohhh, he is cute. I like him. Why don't you get him.

Me: I'm afraid dad won't like him, Dylan. He doesn't really like Cocker's I don't think.

Dylan: Mom! Don't let dad be the boss of you!

You know, I always said that Dylan was the smart one of the family.


Good Kitty

You all know the story of Angel and how he came about. You know about how his brother went away and he is now the kitty that will go to college with Dylan.

Well, today it was a blistery day in the 100-Acre Wood and so, we opened all the windows, turned off the A/C, saved some money and helped the environment. A productive day I would say.

Later in the evening while screaming at the boys to get their room cleaned up, traumatizing Jackson by declaring that he had to donate at least half of his stuffed animals, traum.a.tized. I tell you. Folks, I currently have 26 stuffed animals in a bag. Yes, that means that there were 52 stuffed animals on my boys' bed. I don't know where they have been sleeping.....

Anyways, interrupting my screaming was Wade, wanting to know if I let Angel outside today???? Well, yeah? Duh?!

Wade: Well, he's inside.....

Me: Okay??? and....???? (Please note, that I was already aggravated because, number one, he told Jackson that he could just take some of the stuffed animals to his mother's house) Yes, yes, that would solve the problem, let's just take them somewhere else and let that be someone elses problem. I am sure your mother would love that. (No. 2, he wasn't helping) and (no. 3, he was interrupting my yelling by talking about the stupid cat! I mean sweet Angel)

Wade: He brought you something....

Me: What?!!!

Wade: How did he get in?

Me: Well, I have the windows open in the sunroom. There are no screens. What does he have Wade?! WHAT DOES HE HAVE!!! IT BETTER BE DEAD! WADE!! DON'T LET HIM IN! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! WADE DO SOMETHING!! WAIT, LET ME GET THE CAMERA!

Look mom, look what I brought for dinner!

Look, he's fun! There's enough for everybody.

The next sound we heard was windows being closed!


Saturday, October 18, 2008

Blueberry pie

Emma and I were watching none other than Paula Deen one night, she was coloring, I was lying down watching t.v. and she was in the crook of my arm.

We were talking here and there, she was not really paying much attention to me. Just picture it, her paying attention to her coloring, me paying attention to Paula.

Paula began to make some fried apple pies. Now, I am no chef, but I can follow a recipe.

Me: Emma, don't those look good?

Emma: (still coloring) Uh huh.

Me: Don't you think we could make those?

Emma: (Not looking up) Yeah.

Me: (Trying to get her to be a little enthusiastic) We could wear our new aprons.....

Emma: Mom, remember when you made that blueberry pie?

Me: (Thinking back and trying to remember) Oh yeah....

Emma: (Not worrying about my feelings) It tasted really bad.

Okay, maybe not....

Oh Pooh!

Emma: (Seriously pondering) Mom, why is Pooh Bear named Pooh? Is it because he has poo his feet?

Friday, October 17, 2008

To a T

Hazel eyed people are very emotional people. They love to be loved, but if you hurt them they hurt deeply for a while. They are very down to Earth and friendly people so it's pretty hard to hurt one of these people! A great person to befriend, they will never let you down. Unique, lovely, and genuinally nice, hazel eyed people are truly one of a kind.

I just want to say, is this me to a T or what?!

Monday, October 13, 2008


Last Monday, I thought I would do something nice for my husband and mow our grass. I was just going to do the back yard, but then decided, I would be SUPER nice and mow the front and the sides too.

I had not eaten yet. I was beginning to feel a little bit woozy after two hours, so I thought I might need to go in and refuel.

Now, when you mow grass, you have to be fashionable, for you never know who is going to see you. I had on my blue jean shorts, a longer flowing t-shirt and a wisp of hair down in front of my eye.....yeah, whatever, the shorts were from the day before, the t-shirt had stains on them and that stupid wisp of hair kept falling and would stay back.

As I headed inside, something popped my eye! A bee! Owwww! OmG! A bee just stung me in my eye!

I ran inside and mommy!

Me: Mom? A bee just stung me in my eye. Since it is in close proximity to my brain, do I need to worry?

She came over later to check on me. My eye was fun. I didn't pass out. My eye didn't even swell shut for a cool story at work the next day.

Poor thing was only defending himself. He flew right into that wisp of hair and thought he was a goner.

See if I do a good deed anymore!

Sunday, October 12, 2008


Emma had her first cheerleading competition today and I couldn't go, so Wade took her. There were several teams competing, so Wade and the boys took off to support Emma. I got the following text messages:

From Wade: I think I am dead.

seconds later

From Wade: And I went to hell.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Christmas Shopping

Me: Here y'all look through these Christmas books. Circle anything you want for Christmas.

I go back to checking out what is going on in Paulding County on

Emma: I want a sista for Christmas!!!

Me: Well, sorry, but they are all out of stock.

Emma: Well, then, can Jackson have a brother?


Thursday, October 09, 2008


During this time, I have questioned, "Why". What is the reasoning behind this. Everything happens for a reason. Am I being taught a lesson? Is someone else being taught a lesson? I didn't talk about this situation at all really, except here. But there was this one day...while counting the money in some and a lady from work got to talking....and we just talked about it all. She mentioned that she had a half-sister that she didn't know and the sister has tried and tried to get to know her, but this lady wouldn't do it...simply because she didn't know her.

Tonight, she called me. She said that she had to tell me that my story inspired her! I thought, "what story"? Me, inspiring?

She wrote a two-page letter to her sister, letting her know that she wanted to get together and get to know her, ask questions about her childhood, find out what they had in common and just to give them a chance to be sisters.

I'd do it all over again, as long as it kept bringing family together.



Another English lesson:

Blog: 1. a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer ; also : the contents of such a site

Some of you were offended, some of you took it personal and some of you got angry at me. Last thing I needed. I will no longer clog your e-mails. It will no longer be mailed out. If you would like to participate, you can visit my blog any time you would like at

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Pulling the Plug

I reached a low tonight. I was okay, for one. week. Then, it was placed where there was no way I wouldn't see it. When your name pops up, there it is. The picture. The one I didn't know about. The trip I didn't know was taking place. But others did.

You see, those people there, that is one of the sisters I told you about, the father, I mentioned, the stepmom and her dog, and although that hurts, what hurts the most is the man in black in the back and the sweet blonde seated beside my sister. You see, every year that family, minus the blonde and the man in black, they go to Florida twice a year, every year without fail. Me and the man in the black aren't invited. I don't know, maybe he is and he just never told me, but he doesn't go. He hasn't been, that I know of. Come to think of it, maybe they all have always gone and I just never knew.

So tonight, not long after speaking with my journey group leader, ironically, I told her, I was okay, until in another couple of weeks when I felt I would be hit again by something hurtful because that is just how it happens. I didn't tell her I was meeting my sister that night. I don't know why I didn't, I guess I didn't want to bother her with the details. Well, that couple of weeks came early.

Tonight I went to my sister's house to pick up something of mine she had. It hurt. There was a pain in my heart. It doesn't go away. I hate this. It was a very short exchange. Maybe one minute. Then I was gone. It hurt. I told myself, "Keep your emotions in check." I prayed on the way to her house that God would give me the wisdom of saying the right words, not having hostility...and not getting emotional. I guess he granted those prayers, but it hurt. But she was hiding something. She looked me in the eye and she knew.

I came home. My hubby checked on me, knowing how hard this has been for me, bless his heart, and I assured him I was fine. I ate my pizza and signed into Myspace.

There it was. I don't even have to enter her page. It pops up automatically. Pictures from Florida trip 2008. I can't help myself. I look. I thought it was just she and her husband on a little trip together. I had no idea what I was digging into. First their dog. Then a picture of she and my aunt. Then the two sisters... ouch. But the next one, has a girl. A girl I don't recognize, but I recognize all the others. She has a hat on, so I can't see her face. There's my father, my aunt, my sisters and their respective others, my other aunt and uncle, my stepmom, but who is that girl in the hat? That isn't one of the cousins that usually attends. So, I go to the next one. It is like I am being guided, but why? Then the next picture, is the one that does me in, there he is. The answer to the girl in the hat. It is my brother. The one I don't want dragged into any of this. The one whose phone calls I did not answer on that first fateful night because I was sobbing and didn't want him to know. The girl in the baseball cap is his girlfriend. The girlfriend that I now see is one of Erin's friends on her Myspace page. The girlfriend I didn't even know had a Myspace page. She is cuddled up to my sister. He was there. He had been invited. He is smiling. I get a sick feeling in my stomach.

I click to the next to see if my blurry eyes are playing tricks on me, but is reality and the next caption reads....

"The family...wait...where is Lauren?"

The family. There they are. The family. I didn't even know it was going on. I am sure this trip wasn't planned in the last two weeks since I received those surprising e-mails. Trips don't happen like that. "Where is Lauren?"!!!! Where is Malia? She knew I would see it. She had to know I would see it. I don't understand it. I can't make sense of it. I don't understand what I did wrong. I wonder, "am I singling myself out to make someone else feel guilty?" Is that what I am doing? Singling myself out? I feel betrayed by him. Then I feel guilty for that because why shouldn't he go?

I called my lifelines. Strange that she actually answered. She was just going on her lunch break. I asked my mom if she knew where Brian had been this week. She giggled and said she did.....she giggled. She knew. She said she knew tht he was going to Florida with my father and the trust had been broken. She had been hiding it too...she knew I had been struggling with this. She giggled? I broke. She told me I had to turn it off. Like a light switch. Turn it off?! Could someone please tell me where the switch is? She doesn't understand. I ended the call. I left my house.

I called Melissa. I cry to her, just begging someone to please help me make sense of this. Her phone died. She didn't recharge.

My phone did not ring again. He hasn't called... she giggled ....and she didn't recharge. It still hasn't rung. I feel so alone. I feel desperately alone in this. I don't understand. I can't comprehend it.

I'm worried. I'm worried about the conversations that went on there. Did they think of me? Did they think of me like I have thought of them all week? Did they give me a thought while they were together there? Have they cried like I have cried?While they were having their family time, did they think of me? Did anyone bring me up? I had to have come up. How could I not? Did they give her thoughts of me that don't put me in the best light? What about him? Did they sway him too?

I'm wrestling with where to go next. What to do. I am alone. The minutes are ticking on. The world continues to spin.


I Know You

When you have children, it doesn't matter how many, it is a struggle to get out the door in a timely, fashionable manner.

We are always late... but if you used the cardinal rule of adding 10 minutes to my scheduled time of arriving, per child, then you would see that technically, I am usually only a few minutes late.

As we were trying to get out the door last week, I went into my usual speel of:

Turn off the light in your room, get your shoes on, did you feed the rabbit, get your bag, where is your sweater, close the door to your room, turn off your light, turn off the t.v., get your shoes on, TURN OFF YOUR LIGHT, get your sweater on, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES, GET YOUR SHOES ON, get in the car, get in the car, get in the car, buckle your seatbelt, get on the other side, GET.IN.THE.CAR, get buckled, get buckled, get buckled.....

Sometimes, they don't seem to hear me....I don't know why, I don't get, I have to make threats. They are empty, but I have them fooled, or so I thought....the older one, he has me figured out.

Me: (Going through my speel) Okay, you know what, that's it, you are not going to Grandma's, you are just going to have to stay home by yourself...

Dylan: You can't do that, I am not old enough...I have to be 13! It's against the law!

Me: I don't care! I'm doing it anyway! I. HAVE. TO. GO. TO. WORK....LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO! So, you can just stay here. I am going to go drop Emma off, but you and Jackson are not staying there....

Dylan: You're just kidding.

Me:(GASP! What?!)...No, I am serious, you'll see!

Dylan: No, your not. I know you. You're kidding. I. KNOW. YOU.

Me: (Who told him!!!!!!)

Dylan: Jackson, don't worry, she is not serious. We are going to Grandma's. I know her. She is just kidding.

Me:(Crap! I wonder if he would believe...murder?)

Blind Babies

On the way to school one day:

Dylan: (Remember, every sentence has to start with...) Mom, remember that one time that you said we were going to school and made us bring our back packs and y'all ended up taking us to the aquarium instead? You tricked us.

Me: Yeah! That was fun wasn't it?

Emma: Did I go?

Me: Yes, Emma, you were a baby I think. It wasn't THAT long ago.

Emma: I don't remember it.

Dylan: That's cause you were just born Emma.

Me: No...she wasn't, she was like one or two..

Emma: I couldn't see it because I was just born, mom, and babies are born with their eyes closed and so I was blind because that's how babies are!!! You just need to take us again!


I think this is a darn good hopscotch board. Drawn by none other than Emma herself. Wanna play?

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Clean Your Room!

Me: Emma, clean your room please.

Emma: Buuuttt, iiittt'sss toooooooo hhaaarrrrddddd!

Me: Emma, just go get it done!

She disappears and reappears in .2 seconds

Me: Emma, is your room cleaned?

She nods.

Me: Okay, I am going to go see and if it's not.....

Emma: Buuut, Buuuut, it's too much woooorrrrrrkkkkk!!!

She proceeds to "clean" some more....because of course, she had not touched a thing.

30 minutes later, we go check on her....because ..... really, why haven't I seen her every .2 seconds in the last 30 minutes?

Me: Emma? Emma? Is your room clean?


Me: Gasp!!! Is she breathing?!

Me: You know, I wonder if that would work at the office? I can just sleep under my desk when my job gets too hard!!!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Cheer Nation

We have a cheerleader amongst us. And she is rather cute!

A cheerleader in action.


Bed Brothers

He even shares a pillow.


Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Eyes Wide Open

My grandmother made the mistake of telling me about two cats that had appeared on her front step last year. My mother warned was a bad idea. She didn't listen. So, we aquired two new members of our family. You may remember them, Milo and Angel.

Sometime in June, Milo disappeared. This is the cat that I could swear would end up going to college with Dylan. They were best buds. His brother Angel, ended up in the pen. We bailed him out, sad, honestly, that Milo wasn't with him. We went to and from the pound for two months hoping to find Milo, but alas, he has never returned. We miss Milo.

Angel, on the other hand, has proven that he is so grateful for being out of that place and has stepped right into his shoes?

One night, Jackson fell asleep watching t.v. ......with his brother.

Yes, Jackson really is asleep, the eyes open thing is something he inherited from my is really creepy.

And, yes, Angel is alive, just struggling to breathe a little.