Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Broken

1: violently separated into parts : shattered
2: damaged or altered by breaking: being irregular, interrupted, or full of obstacles c: violated by transgression, a broken promise d: discontinuous , interrupted
3 a: made weak or infirm b: subdued completely : crushed , sorrowful, a broken heart a broken spirit

He holds the universe and still, He runs to the broken.


I am a visual thinker, better yet, hands on, so when I think of this statement, I try to think of a child. A child who is hurting. A child that is me. 31 years old. Hurting. I can't visualize a father because in my mind, I don't have one. He has never been there. He has never held me. Not when I was broken, not when I was whole.

I often wonder, if this is part of my struggle for my relationship with Jesus. Not that I don't believe in Him, but that I have a hard time visualizing Him, drawing near to Him.

"When you are broken, draw near to Him, like a child to a father. None are closer to Jesus, than the broken."

So tonight, as I sat in my car, my child cheering her heart out, oblivious, I first tried to visualize Jesus and I drew near to His chest and he held me. And I cried.

Then Jesus turned into my Papa and I sobbed.

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