Georgia Snow

It snowed in Georgia. Twice. I tried to tell you about it. Blogger refused to cooperate. I got DSL. DSL kicks Bloggers ass. I give you...snow. In Georgia.


What is this falling from the sky?! Snow? What is snow?


Can we eat it? (Polluting my children...I know, bad mom, bad!) Notice that every one is wearing short sleeves and no coats. We do NOT believe the weatherman here until we actually see the white stuff. This time...he was right. That is the real reason every one runs to the store when they see it fall.


Every one say "BRRRRRR!!!!!"



A family picture. Wait...where are the children?


Poor babies...this is the best snowman they could get out of the half inch of snow we got.

Malia

The Crazy Lady With Five Dogs

I knew the day that Bailey passed away, that I wanted to have another lap dog in my life. I had tried looking on the Internet, but once I started seeing those little Yorkie faces, I had to stop because it brought back memories of Bailey and I would just cry. I had decided it was too soon. Although no puppy could take the place of Bailey in my heart, my lap was just completely lonely. I looked at all the different breeds, making sure that is definitely what breed I wanted to stay with.

Two days after Bailey had died, I was at work and this lady, who we had all deemed "crazy", came through and shouted loudly at me, "Do you know anyone who wants a yorkie?!"

"What?!"

"Yeah, I have so many problems, I have just got to get rid of my yorkies, I have five and I just can't keep up with them anymore."

I told her that I was looking and that Bailey had just died. She said that she was only selling the little girl. She had already had all her shots, she was pee pad trained, but she had had surgery to remove a hernia. I took her number, not sure that I wanted a dog, let alone a girl, that had already had problems.

Once I got home from work, I whined to Wade for him to go look at this dog with me. I didn't expect to get one, but I wanted the experience of shopping for a dog because I had never done it before. I had visited a Yorkie site with a forum the day before and they had given me some tips on how to shop. Yes. They actually have forums.

He very relunctantly agreed to go with me. We pulled into the driveway and I told him that I would be right out.

Well, she introduced me to all her dogs, Precious, Max, Paris, Prissy and Star. Star is the one she was selling. I was sure she was a cute dog...if I could see her. Star was hiding. Under the chairs inside, under the bushes outside. All of the other dogs were very friendly, except for Paris, who was terribly cute, under her momma's arm and not for sale. I told her it was very nice to meet her and her dogs and Wade and I would discuss it and call her if we were interested.

Once I got back outside, Wade peeked over the fence to see what he thought too. We then went on our merry way. We discussed it in the car and had decided that we didn't want a dog that had problems and we should look around more and not pick the first dog we saw. He also mentioned that he liked Max the best.

The next day, I got a phone call. It was the crazy lady with her five dogs. She said that she thought that she had had a heart attack last night and then she woke up in the middle of the night and Max and Precious were "going at it" and Precious had gotten pregnant. She couldn't handle anymore dogs and she was going to have to get rid of Max too. She knew that I wasn't too fond of star because she was not very friendly and if I wanted Max, she would be willing to sell him.

I turned around and didn't call Wade, I called Erin, my sister. "What do you think I should do?" "I would get her. She is probably just shy because she has all those dogs around and because her owner is crazy." I asked her to please go with me to look at the dogs because she had experience at this and I was green!

Then I asked Wade what he thought. "Erin thinks it is a good idea and that the dog should be fine. She also said it was a really good price."

"That is what Erin says about everything when it comes to spending money. Everything is a "good price" to her." He still thought we should look around, but if I wanted it, then do what I wanted. Hasn't he learned yet that those are the wrong combination of words to tell me? Do what you want?!

So, on a snowy Wednesday in Georgia, Erin and I went to visit the crazy lady with five dogs, in her house filled with rugs and...stuff... and spent time with the dogs. The snow was falling in huge flakes and it was already sticking. Star was still hiding, but Max was sweet and loving. Erin and I spoke in a language that only we could understand. We blinked our eyes, wiggled our noses, shrugged shoulders and pulled on ears. She thought the dogs looked good and healthy and that we should rescue them from this lady. (She honestly was a very nice lady, just a little eccentric and lonely, really, I think). Erin's nose and blinks said, "Max is not even neutered, so we could breed him and make a profit. You should get the dogs."

"Dogs? With an S? I am sorry, I thought shrug, blink, blink, wiggle the nose, fling the hair meant Max. Just Max."

"Nope. Wiggle the nose, fling the hair, touch my shoe means just Max. You should get both. A boy and a girl. Besides they are cute. I am sure that Star will warm up to you once she gets out of all this craziness."

Max and Star? Max and Star? Can I handle two puppies at once? Max and Star? Money. He can make me money. Wade liked him. That would make Wade happy. I like Star, I do. That would be my little girl dog. I have never had one of those before. Max and Star? I could go to PetSmart and ge, "I am probably going to die and then you won't be able to get any papers on them, so I will just go ahead and give you the papers and you can take both of them."

"What?"

"I am probably going to die, so I have to get rid of all of them! I had a heart attack last night and I need quadruple bypass surgery. You know, they are like teenagers, if they want to have sex they are going to. I did everything, I even tied his penis up, but he didn't care, he still got to her last night and now she's pregnant!"

"I will take them. I will take Max and Star."

Wink, wink, wiggle the nose, touch my ear...(Erin, let's get the dogs and get out of here.)

We head outside with two dogs in tow, complete with a set of clothes for each, papers and tags. The crazy lady with fi...no, three dogs, follows us out. We are all shivering because of the snow, even the dogs, and the crazy lady with the three dogs continues to tell me how to take care of dogs. She tries to go back inside the house and for us to follow her, but her front door is now locked...with us on the porch...all of us...shivering...locked out of her house...in the snow.

"She locked me out of my house." She is pointing to Erin.

(Are you kidding me? This lady is nutso. Why would Erin lock her out of her house. Why would Erin have touched the door?)

"That's okay, I can get in." She whips a credit card out from somewhere and tries to get back in. "I can't believe she locked me out of my house."

We got back in and ended up staying another 15 minutes with the Crazy Lady with three dogs, where she showed me everything she has ever fed her dogs, everything.

We finally head home, where it is somewhat quiet, somewhat peaceful. Me, Max and Star. My new best friends.



Meet Max Hemi Sims. He is a two-year-old blue and gold Yorkshire Terrier. He is daddy to Star.



Meet Star. She is a tri-color Yorkshire Terrier. Max's little girl.

Malia

Bun in the Oven?!

Me: Emma, my stomach hurts.

Emma: That's because your going to have a baby.

Wade--who overheard from the kitchen(choking): Cough! Watch your mouth girl!

Malia

The Love Tub!

Beware of The Sims 2.

I got it for Christmas.

It is rated T for teens.

I have played it once.

Dylan loves it.

He has cheat codes.

He has several families.

He has a job. He is a vandal and gets paid $186 per day.

Today, Jackson came and told me that they bought a love tub. He noticed I looked perplexed. "It's a tub that is shaped like a heart." One of my eyebrows raises. "I asked my girlfriend to get in the love tub with me, but she is not my girlfriend, now she is just my best friend, but she got in and you know what? She was naked? Isn't that weird? She must be dumb. She must've been like, 'I'm dumb, let me take my clothes off and get in the love tub.'

DYYYYLLLLAAAANNNN!!!!! GET RID OF THE LOVE TUB!!!!

"Mom, we already did."

Such good boys.

(Before you get all judgemental on me...number 1, I didn't know a "love tub" existed. Their dad helped them get the cheat codes...I was at work, so pick on him. Second, the nakedness, it is blurred out.:))

Malia

Conversations You Never Thought You Would Be Having With Your Children...1

While watching the snow fall through the window and General Hospital at the same time, I found that there was suddenly a block of my view...Jackson.

Jackson(Making my mind wander from the saga of Luke's third heart attack and whether he will or will not decide to have that lifesaving surgery): Mom, this one time...at school...the sink was broken...and there was a cleaning lady...and I had to wash my hands in the toilet...is that okay?(Am I going to die because of the germs?)

Me(My mind completely ripped away from the thoughts of Maxie being strangled and who done it): What?! (Did he just say he washed his hands in a toilet?!)

Jackson: At school...I had to wash my hands in the toilet...is that okay? (Please...just tell me I am not going to die.)

Me: Uh...WHAT!!! WHY WOULD YOU WASH YOUR HANDS IN THE TOILET?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I MEAN IS THIS A JOKE, JACKSON?! WHAT HAPPENED? START AT THE BEGINNING!

Jackson (Crap! She looks like I might die!): I had to go to the bathroom and the sink was broken, so there was a cleaning lady in the bathroom and she asked me if I had washed my hands, so I washed them in the toilet. (So, what does this mean...exactly?)

Me: When?!!! Did!!!! This!!! Happen??!!

Jackson: I don't know, like, in kindergarten.

Me(Perplexed, confused...um...disgusted): Did you think of maybe telling the cleaning lady that the sink was broken?

Jackson(Maybe that would have worked): {Shakes his head no and shrugs his shoulders}

Me(What blog material!): Okay, I don't think you're going to die, but next time...tell the cleaning lady that the sink is broken...don't wash your hands in the toilet!!!!

Malia

We Miss You Bailey!

My Bailey passed away on Friday, January 11, 2008. He was to be six years old this year. We did everything we possibly could to try and save the little guy. He was very brave and fought, I think for me more than for himself. He was so loyal and loving, always at my side or in my lap. I will miss you Bailey, my best friend.

malia

2007 Went Out in a Puff of Smoke...Literally

On December 31, 2007, I was awoken by the sound of vomiting in my bed. This is not an uncommon sound in our household, I mean, we have three children, three cats and two dogs, someone is ALWAYS vomiting. We had also been through a serious stomach virus the week before. I sleepily jumped out of bed in order to dodge the projectile vomit and instructed Jackson to get up and go to the bathroom. Time to wash the sheets again I guess.

After I got him settled in, I headed to the phone to call the boss, I would not be making it to work that day. My boss was none too happy, I mean it is New Year's Eve and I work in retail. Actually, I had not even realized the date at that time.

Later that day, I had noticed a smell in the house, but thought it was the heat. You know how the furnace gives off that smell sometimes. Even later, I noticed the smell again and went and investigated, but found nothing. I had not lit any candles, so I again chalked it up to being the furnace. Well, at about 1:30 I looked up from my computer and noticed that the house looked a little bit hazy. I was thinking, "Is that just the sun shining in from the window? Are my eyes that tired that the house is hazy looking?" I headed into the living room and told Dylan that something definitely smelled and we had to figure out what it was. It was stronger than earlier that day. I went to my bedroom and opened the door and it was filled with smoke! The outlet on the wall had been smoldering all day and that is what the smell was. Now the wall above the outlet was black and the wall was hot! I tried not to panick, I mean, all three children were looking at me as if to say, "Okay, mom, what is the next move?!" I picked up the phone and called the hubby, asking him what I should do and if I should call the fire department, all the while, I am thinking, "I don't want the fire deparmtent to see my house this messy! I ran downstairs and turned off all the power to the house, no, not just to the bedroom, the whole house! Panick? Me?! No!

I could see smoke up in the attic and was afraid there was fire inside the wall and that it was climbing. I climbed up into the attic, hurting myself, because, really, how long has it been since you hoisted your own weight up into an attic loft with a door the size of a cabinet door?

Turns out we caught it in time before it could do any real damage, but if I had gone to work that day, there would have been no house to come home to. We would have lost everything, except our lives, which are precious of course.

I thank God for Jackson's vomit, for without it, we wouldn't have a porcelain throne to pray to.

Malia

California Gets Another One

Another one of my friends will soon call her home, California. I have known Melanie for about a year now and she is just one of sweetest, down to earth people. I will miss her especially when "California falls into the ocean". :) Keep taking care of those babies and keep in touch girl.



Malia--Melanie is the one on the left

Savannah 2008

Wade and I have decided that we will be heading back to Savannah in April for a long weekend...Tennessee was picked out of the hat for vacation this year, but we just couldn't stay away from Savannah for that long.

We fell in love with this city....well, mostly me, I think, but I seriously have thought about it at least once each day, since we came back. It is the most beautiful city that I have ever seen.

Here are some pictures of the thousands, no, I am not exagerating, thousands that we took.







Malia

Kitchen Konversations Ep. 2

Me: Emma, I need to go do the dishes. Don't you need to do the dishes in your kitchen too?

Emma: (Looking at me with a puzzled look) My dishes?

Me: Yes, the dishes in your new kitchen. Remember you cooked me that great lunch?

Emma: No, I don't need to do the dishes. I will just burn them.

Me: Burn them?

Emma: Yeah, I don't need to do the dishes. I will just throw them in the fire.

Ladies, it's a new feminine movement, burn the dishes, not the bras.

Malia

Superheroes

After coming home from shopping one night, my husband proudly announced that he and Jackson were superheroes.

"Want to know what our names are?"

"Sure! What are they?"

Jackson says, "Well, I am Power Boy and Dad is Strong Man."

Wade says, "Guess what our initials are on our shirts." He has a mischievous grin on his face, so I should have known that something was amiss, but I bought it, hook, line and sinker.

"What are they? Tell me," I say.

"Well, he is PB and I am S & M!"

Boys!!!!

Malia

We Love You Kellllllyyyyy!!!!

My very best friend, Melissa, is having a birthday soon...well, on Tuesday as a matter of fact. For her birthday, she received Kelly Clarkson tickets. Guess who she picked to go with her....just guess.....ME!!!! We had so much fun, or at least I did. We got lost, basically driving around in circles. We learned a sign of the times by having to watch eight gay men coddle and fondle the ENTIRE show, apparently, they like Kelly Clarkson! And we learned that some artists actually DO sing really well....even without all the technology that they have in today's recording studios. Most of all, we enjoyed each other's company. Thanks Melissa! I had a blast!

Malia

Halloween 2007

Better than late than never...

Kitchen Konversations Episode 1

Emma loves to "help" me do the dishes, which I am sure will be a blessing one day, but for now, I love the conversation...

After going outside to feed Booboo with a clean dog bowl, I found that my darling, sweet husband had fed him the night before...with my corningware dish.

Me: Emma, can you believe that your daddy used my corningware dish to feed Booboo last night?

Emma: Ummm...yes!

(Now that I think about it, me too!)



After the dishes were done and the sink was clean, I turned off the water, because, we are in a water crisis here in GA ya know.

Emma: What did you turn the water off for?!

Me: Because the dishes are done, we are finished!

Emma: Well, that is just because you are being mean!

Me: Because I finished the dishes?

Emma: Yes!

(I guess this means I shouldn't do dishes anymore, oh well.)

Malia

Happy Fall Y'all!

Malia

Cabbage Patch Hospital Vol. 1

A week ago Emma, my mother-in-law, Judy and I went on a short trip to Cleveland Georgia to the Cabbage Patch Kid Hospital. This is a trip that should have only been a half-day trip, but turned into a full day and night trip. We ran into many obstacles, but had fun nonetheless. The first obstacle was realizing that, "Hey, I have already seen that road once, and that house....and those mountains! How am I now heading back home?!" Next was when we turned into a driveway to turn around and head back in the correct direction, the car began to smoke and smell. Here we are two women with a little girl who has her heart set on seeing the Cabbage Patch Hospital, stuck on the top of a mountain, somewhere in North Georgia, not sure which road we were on, with a smoking car. After five hours, we finally made it to the Cabbage Patch Hospital and as soon as we get out of the car, Emma announces that she needs to go to the bathroom, but we didn't make it. I guess Cheetos and Jones Candy Corn Soda are not a good combination. More positive pictures to follow.



Malia

A Good Reason To Miss Bible Study

So, there I am, taking a nap on Tuesday to unwind the day before I go to Bible study. At 5:42 p.m. Wade comes in and lays down with me and all of a sudden he says, as if it is no big deal, "Oh, Mike Rowe was supposed to be at the Lowe's in Woodstock today. Man, I forgot. He was supposed to be there from 4-6 I think."

Now, pause, I raise up my head and look at him. I have only been trying to get Dylan an autograph through the same approach as I got Paula Deen's and have been extremely unsuccessful. Wade knows this. Here was the opportunity to not only get his autograph, but actually meet him and get a picture with him and Wade just "FORGOT"?!

"What?!!!!! How could you forget that?! Jeez!

"Well maybe he was there 'til 7."

"Ummm, well, maybe you better go find out!"

20 minutes later, after I have fallen back asleep because it obviously pointless, he comes back in and says, "Yeah, he is there until 7."

I jumped out of bed faster than you will ever see again and said, "Grab them, get them in the van and let's go!"

"We can't make it there I don't think. It is 6:02 p.m."

"All we can do is try, but don't you dare tell them where we are going. I won't have them disappointed."

We tell the children we are going to go get paint.

We live about an hour and 30 minutes away from Woodstock. My goal was to make it there in 45 minutes.

I prayed the entire way that God would get these children there, so that they could meet Mike Rowe. Dylan especially.

I sped, I broke many laws. We got there at 6:52p.m. We jogged to the end of the very long line that we did not expect to see. The children looking at us with questions in their eyes.

I so afraid that they would say, "It is seven o'clock, that is it folks, thanks for coming. But alas, four hours later, we were shaking hands with Mike Rowe, the dirtiest man alive. We were all tired, you can tell by the picture, including Mike. He was a super nice guy, obviously tired, telling us he was staying until we were all gone. He signed a couple of pictures for us and y'all they took at least 15 pictures with our personal camera without us asking.

Mike Rowe, you are a super guy. Thank you for putting out television that my family can sit down and watch together. You have a lot of children looking up to you and I think you for that.

Malia

Savannah

I have fallen in love with a city...no, it is not Paris, London or even San Francisco, but a city right here in Georgia. Savannah. I think about her at least once a day and feel so blessed to have been able to go to this city. I have gotten my husband to agree that we will go for a long weekend to Savannah at least once a year. It was my pick for vacation again this year, but alas, Tennessee was picked. Here is me walking through City Market, which is one of the blocks between the many squares of Savannah, which has craft stores, food venues, and not to forget horse and buggy waiting to take you on tour. Watch out for the horse droppings. This was an early morning of Wade and I searching for the Lady and Sons restaurant. We went around and around in a circle looking for it and finally, after very mucy aggravation that you can begin to see on my face, it was found.

Malia

Fair

We went to the North Georgia State Fair last Tuesday and had a wonderful time. Emma loved the rides. Dylan learned that growing up means that you can't ride the caterpillars anymore and you have to move up to the big stuff.

Malia

Oysters and Sushi

I also had a birthday months ago, but I turned 30. I celebrated by tasting my first ever sushi and raw oysters---blech to both.

Malia

Jackson Turned 6....Months Ago

I am not behind...I am NOT behind!

Introduction to Halloween

This is what I found in my laundry basket not long ago in a clean pile of laundry....I am still trying to decide if Wade put it there to scare me....

Malia

Jackson and Paula

Jackson LOVES Paula Deen. I mean, he will stop in his tracks if he is walking through the room and he sees her on t.v. He will say, "Ooo, it's Paula Deen, she is hot!"

Dylan doesn't understand this and one time said, "Jackson, you know she's like 70, right?"

Jackson, "Yeah, I don't care, she is hot."

Well, I wrote to her and next thing we know, we have mail from Paula, addressed to Jackson.

Under Foot

What to do with three children when they are bored and you have unpacking to do...give them each a peice of shelf liner.

Malia

Nanny

My Nanny passed away Sunday night. As my father said, "The demons are no longer chasing her." I will forever remember her as a jolly and happy person. She always had a smile on her face when in my presence. Rest in peace Nanny.

Malia

Anatomy....As Taught By Jackson

Each Sunday night, we gather around the television as a family to tune into America's Funniest Home Videos.

Last Sunday, a child came on our screen with his mouth wide open and his mom asked, "What is that thing in the back of your throat again?"

The child replied so innocently, "Ummm...testicles."

As Wade and I snickered, Jackson asked, "What are testicles?"

I sheepishly tried to explain, though I was not at all prepared and was looking to Wade for some help, Please!

Then Jackson told me had already had the answer..."Oh, you mean that thing that I just call peepee beans?"

Malia

More Child Labor

Now, if I can just get Jackson to cooperate!

Malia

The Pay Off

The reward of all of our hard work is finally beginning to pay off:

Princess Emma

Tonight Emma took a shower...by herself...she washed her hair, used soap and then put on my Peony Bath and Body Works body spray. She made the whole house smell wonderful.

I reached out to her at one point and decalred how pretty she was, ruffling her hair. Emma quickly pushed my hand away, flipped her hair and said, "You don't touch me. I am a princess and you don't touch princesses!"

Later, she let me touch her crown.

malia

Milo and Angel...We Hope

We have two new additions to our home, Milo and Angel. I am hoping that Milo turns into Miley, but they are too young to tell. I am not even sure Angel is a girl, but remember, Angel was very fine looking mine on the t.v. show.

The children has asked us to have a new kitten when we moved into our house and I was adamant about not getting one, number one reason, I hate kittens. Yes, they are cute, but they are also very, very annoying with needle like claws and they love discovering digging in plants, how to sharpen claws on furniture and that it is so much fun to play with your feet under the sheets while you are sleeping. I like my cat, the one that comes to me when SHE wants to.

My Memaw called one day and mentioned that she had done something very "stupid" and had fed two stray kittens that had come up. She had to get rid of them because they kept getting underneath her feet and she was afraid that they were going to trip her. My mother had told her not to even mention it to me because she knows what a sucker I am for animals.....you need to get rid of an animal, call Malia!

I did the good wifely duty and asked Wade first, just so you know, and now we have two new members. Meet Milo and Angel.

Anatomy...Taught By Emma

Emma yawns.

"Emma!", I yell in an exaggerated, concerned voice.

She stops and looks at me, wondering what exactly my problem may be.

"I just saw something in your throat...it was just hanging there!"

"That's because it was my bwain!"

"....Oooooohh...."

Malia